When You Feel It,You Heal It

I was watching a famous talk show host when I heard the phrase, when you feel it, you heal it. Never was a truer word spoken. The question was asked of the guest, "do you feel responsible for the plight of your child?"
"Yes, I did for a while" the guest answered.
"Then what makes you feel different now" questioned the host.
"When I realized how I felt about the situation, then I could take steps to be healed. First I had to face me."

I thought to myself, that's the same conversation I just had with my son. He was getting over a break up with the woman he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with. We had many talks and discussions about the whys of their breakup. He went through many scenarios about what he would do if he saw her again. He had heard rumors that she was engaged to another only eight months after their departing. He had even talked to the new fiance on her cell phone by default.

The day came shortly after that when he saw the two of them in the grocery store. The initial shock quickly slammed him in to heartache. But, he girded himself with a prayer and took the higher road and spoke to the newly formed couple. A couple days went by as he processed the encounter. At this point he asked me were there some books he could read to help make sense of his thoughts.

He first read Attachments by Clinton and Sibcy, a book about why you love, feel and act the way you do. He then read Tough Stuff by Charles Swindoll. It talked about getting through the tough stuff in life. And then he started reading the DNA of Relationships by Dr. Garey Smalley. It talks about discovering how you are designed for satisfying relationships. Through reading these books he's learning how relationships work and where he fits in in the process.

A few days later, my son said to me the minute he walked in the house from work. Today I faced the fact that we are finished and I feel better now that I acknowledge that fact. I'm okay with that. I though when I said that to the Lord that I would feel devastated. But, I don't feel bad at all.

My statement to him was, the hardest thing to do is to face yourself and own up to your true feelings. The torment comes in when you keep putting off dealing with your fears. Once you face them you find that you can begin to move forward. Now your healing can begin when you face where you really are. So, when I heard the guest make that statement, I agreed that until you feel it, you can't heal it.